


you, and the ones you love

by rosyasteria



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Karl Jacobs Needs a Hug, Karl Jacobs-centric, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Canon, Time Travel, Time Travelling Karl Jacobs, Web Series: Tales from the SMP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:42:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosyasteria/pseuds/rosyasteria
Summary: It was a painful feeling, to crave interaction with others yet feel so suffocated while doing so. A paradox. Trust the time traveller to be part of some sick touch-starved version of Schrödinger’s Cat. Was he lonely? Was he not?Karl returns from his travels post-masquerade, and thinks about those he loves.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs, Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 10
Kudos: 215





	you, and the ones you love

**Author's Note:**

> hi !! just a heads up, don’t ship real people !!
> 
> this is based on the canon relationship between karl, quackity, and sapnap in the lore of the plot of the dream smp, and is not meant to reference them irl.
> 
> that being said, enjoy !!

_ “Don’t forget who you are.” _

Karl had found himself saying that a lot. It had become a mantra, something he used to ground himself. He couldn’t forget. He wouldn’t. Because forgetting meant all his work was for nothing, forgetting meant he was past the point of return. And he had to return. He owed it to everyone, most of all Alex and Sapnap. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken to the two of them, really spoken, made time to sit and eat with them, not rushed by the impending doom of a time vortex opening and calling his name.

He’d spent less time with his fiancés than he’d spent gallivanting off in other time periods, and each and every time he met their ancestors or descendants, future lives, even, depending on the nature of the period, the heartbreak-worn fissure in his heart cracked that bit more. He missed the time when he wasn’t so scared to hold them, to talk and joke, but not being able to do those things when he travelled made him more touch averse than he’d like to admit.

* * *

_ “Hello, I’m James.” The man smiled, a hidden sadness framing his features as Karl reached out and gripped his outstretched hand and shook it. He looked good in this life; unlaced white shirt, black breeches with matching boots, brown hair tousled atop his head and that white mask covering one orange eye. They always managed to find one another, and Karl always managed to fall in love all over again. As Sir Billiam said his hello to James and mentioned his wife, kids, Karl reigned himself in. He would not interfere. _

_ Seeing James’ body shoved cruelly against the bedroom wall, crumpled and bleeding, the last ebbs of breath being expelled from his lungs, Karl swallowed down bile as Sir Billiam patted his shoulder in an odd attempt at comfort. _

_ When all had been revealed, Billiam’s words to Karl stung in a way nothing had in his travels. _

_ “I saw the way you looked at James- and I’m sorry, but it was for something greater, he would’ve understood.” _

* * *

_ “Al- Cletus, be careful!” Karl had berated himself for the slip up back at the Lost City of Mizu, he’d been living with Cletus, Charles, and Benjamin for a while, he couldn’t afford to mess it all up, he’d spent an indefinite amount of time stuck in a void attempting to stay in that time frame longer than whatever being was orchestrating his travels wanted him to, and had woken up in his bed with Cletus at his side, passing fishing-rod-worn fingers through his hair. _

_ “How long was I out?” Karl asked, voice rough from misuse. _

_ “‘Bout a week, came down with a fever, passed out right in the kitchen makin’ breakfast, almost set the shelving units alight. Benji carried you up here.” Cletus explained, hand retreating to his lap. He stood not long after, leaving the room and Karl. Later that day once he’d gotten back on his feet Charles told him Cletus hadn’t left his beside, he’d lost sleep over it, not eaten, and Karl had to wait till he was back in the safety of his room to sob into his pillow. Of course in a future life Alex’s descendant was just as loyal and loving, if they had to take on any qualities it would’ve been those.  _

* * *

Karl put his bookcase back in its place, ensuring the wall seam was hidden, before making his way out and over to what was the mess of the SMP mainland. The crimson vines criss-crossing every pathway made him gag, and he cut through them as he walked, hating how they seemed to hiss and curl back as he did so. The place was dead and empty, the only person Karl saw being the Captain, who waved cheerfully and asked how Karl was doing, where he’d been. Karl shrugged, flashing as big of a smile he could muster.

“Just around.” He said, before saying he’d see her later and walking elsewhere. It was a painful feeling, to crave interaction with others yet feel so suffocated while doing so. A paradox. Trust the time traveller to be part of some sick touch-starved version of Schrödinger’s Cat. Was he lonely? Was he not?He didn’t have the time to unpack all of that, he didn’t know when he’d be needed next; so he walked over to the community spawner, stomach dropping as he fell down the hole. He sat himself behind the enchantment table, opened a book, and started writing.

**_ I hate feeling so alone. _ **

**_ Time is a fickle thing, I go where it takes me, and yet I get nothing for my work. Not yet anyway. _ **

**_ I haven’t seen Alex or Sapnap in a while, not since karaoke night, and I can’t even remember how long ago that was. _ **

**_ It’s getting harder to keep a lock on my memories. _ **

**_ Maybe that’s a good thing? Now I won’t be haunted by James’ body, or Cletus’ hands in my hair. _ **

**_ So much has happened while I’ve been gone. _ **

**_ I’m not sure about what to do next. When the Inbetween needs me I’ll go, of course I’ll go, it’s the limbo that hits hard, what happens while I’m gone, while I’ve abandoned my home. _ **

**_ But I’m doing the right thing. _ **

**_ Or at least I hope I am. _ **

**_ Don’t forget who you are. _ **

He got up, legs aching from how long he’d spent curled up on the granite floor. He must’ve lost track of time. He laughed sadly to himself at that. Swimming back to the surface, he saw it was late night. He made his way back over the prime path, noticing a building he hadn’t seen earlier that day, it was a casino, from the looks of it. He tucked his book away, walking over and in through the front door. The door was unlocked, the place empty save for the chiming slot machines. He wandered around, working his way upstairs and finding an office. It looked like any regular office, filing cabinets, a well-worn desk, a chair. He was about to turn and leave until he noticed a photo frame there, on the desk, tipped over and face-down.

As he reached over and picked it up his palm bloomed with pain, and he dropped the frame, pulling his hand back to see a thin streak of blood dripping from a shallow cut and shattered glass strewn over the desk. How he hadn’t noticed that upon entering he didn’t know. He wiped the blood off on his hoodie, before reaching over more carefully, picking the frame up and turning it. It was a picture of him, Alex, and Sapnap, back when they all first got together. Sapnap hadn’t grown his hair out back then, the black waves shorn at the sides where now it was longer and curled around his ears. Well, last time Karl had seen him. Alex didn’t have the massive scar down his face in the photo. He remembered finding Alex after that duel with Technoblade, angry and upset and bleeding out, bare gums an angry red and a hole torn cleanly through his mouth, that once Karl had cleaned it he could see through. He looked just as beautiful scarred up, Karl thought as he peeled back the cover of the frame and pulled the photo out, tucking into to his journal. As he left the casino he tried to ignore how the implications of the shattered frame meant something. This timeline, the present, was good. It was good and Karl was _not_ about to let it upset him.

As he made his way back to his home, far from the mainland of the SMP, he took the photo out again.

He didn’t know when he’d see them, the real them, next. He wasn’t sure if he’d die before, or after then. Time was a cruel mistress, the Inbetween even more so, and Karl couldn’t say no to its calling. Not now. Especially not now. He dug out a quill from one of his chests and flipped the photograph to its white back. Resting it on his journal he wrote something. Once he’d done so he folded it, tucking it into a pocket he’d sewn into his hoodie.

_** You, and the ones you love. ** _

_** Don’t forget who you are. ** _

**Author's Note:**

> hi ! im link, im an 18 year old nonbinary college student from england and writing is one of my favourite hobbies so i love posting to make other people happy!
> 
> my twitter is @ORPHANBLADE if you want to give me a follow!


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